Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XXI: Underway at Last!

 COTEB XXI has left the docks over at Slobber and Spittle.  Do enjoy!

Time to Be Fillin' the Hold

Captain Cujo be worried, me hearties: the hold be nearly empty, and the crew be nowhere in sight.  We have an unhappy captain:

At the risk of being a martinet, I'm not satisfied. We sail this weekend regardless, because I doubt I'll be able to do much next weekend, and if we keep pushing cruises back we'll eventually be so far back in time that we meet ourselves, or something like that.

We can't be havin' wi' this.  So allow myself to repeat myself:

Captain Cujo be lookin' for ye!

Once again, I'll be donning the funny hat and and as many pistols as I can carry as I host a cruise of the carnival. I'd love to see submissions from folks who haven't participated before, particularly if they're regular readers. If you submit your entry before January 29, that would be even better. I'll have more time to work on that narrative thing I heard about in composition class. January 29 is the deadline, however.

If you're still not sure what sort of article works as a COTEB article, click on the COTEB keyword and check out some past carnivals.

So, as Admiral Hunter says, send us your treasures, and we'll see you in a few days.

BTW, if you don't have a website, but you have an article that you've written, send it to me and I'll put it up here as a guest post.

We be expectin' a big crew this time, especially in light o' the fact so many o' us missed the boat after the holidays.  So get yer submissions in by January 29th.

Or suffer the shame o' missin' the boat.

It Be That Time Again

Ahoy, ye Elitist Bastards!  Captain Cujo be lookin' for ye!

Once again, I'll be donning the funny hat and and as many pistols as I can carry as I host a cruise of the carnival. I'd love to see submissions from folks who haven't participated before, particularly if they're regular readers. If you submit your entry before January 29, that would be even better. I'll have more time to work on that narrative thing I heard about in composition class. January 29 is the deadline, however.

If you're still not sure what sort of article works as a COTEB article, click on the COTEB keyword and check out some past carnivals.

So, as Admiral Hunter says, send us your treasures, and we'll see you in a few days.

BTW, if you don't have a website, but you have an article that you've written, send it to me and I'll put it up here as a guest post.

We be expectin' a big crew this time, especially in light o' the fact so many o' us missed the boat after the holidays.  So get yer submissions in by January 29th.

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XX: The HMS Elitist Bastard Sails Again

Time an' tide may wait for no man, but it be forced to wait for holidays, relatives, an' other impediments to smooth sailing.  But Captain Last Hussar has brought the ship safely out o' harbor despite all odds!  An' a rousing trip it be.

An' this time, we're legal, as well as fashionably late.

Enjoy yer trip, me hearties, and then be ye ready for yer voyage wi' Captain Cujo.  We sail again in three weeks!

To Yer Posts, Sailors!

It be that time again!  Time for ye to pick yer best elitist bastardry and get aboard!  We be sailin' Christmas weekend, if time an' tides be on our sides.  Get yer links in to me no later than end o' day December 26th.  We be sailin' out from Last Hussar's Barracks, and ye don't want to be late when ye're dealin' wi' a captain named Last Hussar, now, do ye?

If ye've never sailed before, here's how it be done:

1. Pick a blog post o' yours that hits the stupid where it hurts.

2. Send us the link at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com.

That be it.  Simple enough, innit?

And if ye see a bit o' elitist bastardry while ye be out and about on the intertoobz, be sure to send us the link.  A crew's just not complete without a few press-ganged folk.

See ye aboard!

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XIX: Here Be Monsters

The ship has sailed, me hearties! Captain Stephanie has delivered an epic tale in which buckles be swashed an' monsters be slain. Raise yer tankard in one hand, yer cutlass in t' other, and charge!

Captain on Deck - Muster Up, Me Hearties!

Aye, our communication failures be fixed, and Captain Stephanie be ready to take the helm. But she be in need o' a crew. So rouse yerselves from yer turkey comas, muster yer best elitist bastardry, and get on deck by end o' day Friday.

If ye've never sailed before, here's how ye join the crew:

1. Pick a blog post o' yours that hits the stupid where it hurts.

2. Send us the link at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com.

That be it. What could be more easy? Ye can write about anything ye like - we take all manner o' intelligent and interesting discourse.

See ye aboard!

Our Captain Be Missing in Action

As ye know, our Captain Stephanie just went through surgery.  I haven't heard if she be up for helmin' the ship, so we be awaiting word.  Raise a tankard to her health, me hearties!

We'll stay in port an extra week, and if Captain Stephanie be ready t' take the helm then, it be hers.  If not, yer admiral will step up t' the wheel.  We be castin' off on the weekend o' December 5th.  Get yer submissions in to elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com no later than Friday the 4th.

Ye've got extra time, so I expect yer very best elitist bastardry!

Sailing into November with a kick-ass crew

Did ye think we'd never get away from the dock? Hah! The Elitist Bastard is cutting water and breaking ice. And woe betide any con ships that cross her path this month! Get the top-secret skinny on her mission at Decrepit Old Fool: Carnival Of The Elitist Bastards, the "it's for research" edition.

It's readily apparent I'm no sea-dog, but luckily the crew is fully seasoned!

Ye Have Until Midnight, Mateys

Captain George be keepin' the gangplank down 'till Midnight tonight.  Ye still have time to get aboard wi' yer treasures!  And there be plenty o' berths left, so finish yer drink, grab yer loot, and board ship!  Send yer best elitist bastardry to elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com or ye'll be wishin' ye had!