Get Yer Treasure in the Chest

We be setting sail from Slobber and Spittle next weekend - submissions are due no later than the end of day Friday, and ye know ye don't want to be left behind. I've seen only one o' ye step aboard - surely there's more elitist bastards out there. Send Captain Cujo yer links!

I've noticed a dramatic decline in new recruits of late. This won't do. Allow me to repeat meself: For any o' ye who've never sailed, but think ye might be Elitist Bastard enough to sign on, now's yer chance! Let's review the requirements:

1. Write a blog post that blasts ignorance or celebrates some aspect o' wisdom, or if ye be really ambitious, does both.

2. Post yer post.

3. Send us the link no later than the deadline, or ye be dead in the water.

Simplicity itself, innit? Which means no o' ye should be left sittin' on the docks when we sail.

That Howl Be Yer Captain Callin' For Ye

It be that time again, time for all good Elitist Bastards to write their posts and send in their links. Captain Cujo be wantin' yer submissions as soon as ye can get them to 'im. Get 'em in to elitistbastardscarnival at gmail dot com. We be sailing on the weekend o' the 25th - don't ye be left on the docks!

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XI: "We Prefer the Term 'Awesome.'"

The eleventh sailing of the HMS Elitist Bastard's up at Z's place. We be organized elitist bastards this time round: we left port on time and in good order. Huzzah! Settle yerselves in yer hammocks and enjoy a long, leisurely sail with some of the smartest bastards on the intertoobz.

All Aboard!

'Tis that time. If ye haven't jumped aboard with yer submission clenched in yer teeth, ye'd better get leaping. I want to see all o' ye on the ship by the end o' day Friday. Captain Z be expectin' ye! Email yer submissions and prepare to make mayhem!

Captains and Submissions Call

The HMS Elitist Bastard won't be wanting for leadership over the next few months. We've some mighty fine Captains taking the helm.

March 28-29 - Z at It's the Thought That Counts

April 25-26 - Cujo359 at Slobber and Spittle

May 30-31 - George at Decrepit Old Fool

June 27-28 - John Pieret at Thoughts in a Haystack

July 25-26 - NP at The Coffee-Stained Writer

August 29-30 - Open

September 26-27 - Open

October 31-Nov. 1 - Open

November 28-29 - Open

December 26-27 - Open

Commands are going fast. Ye'd best get yours while there's still a chance!

If ye're worried ye can't steer a ship as elitist as the HMS Elitist Bastard, ye can put those fears to rest. 'Tis simplicity itself for true Elitist Bastards:

1. Ye must know how to create a hyperlink.

2. Ye bring posts full o' various Elitist Bastardry together in fun and creative ways.

3. Then ye sit back and enjoy the warm glow o' a job well done - or the warmer glow o' rum, whichever's the warmer for ye.

Ye don't even have to muster up a crew - yer Admiral does that for ye. There's still room for five o' ye, so volunteer yerself.

It also be time to get yer submissions in for March's sailing. I know ye've got something suitable, so send me those links no later than Friday, March 27th. Captain Z be expecting ye!

Who Be Helmin' the Ship?

Aye, so it does. We've only three weeks afore the next sailin', and we've no captains. The HMS Elitist Bastard needs enterprisin' elitists to helm her. Should ye be interested, email Admiral Dana at mailto:%20elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com with yer name, yer blog, and the month ye want to take the wheel. Make sure ye include a second choice just in case ye missed the boat. Dates we leave port are below:

March 28th

April 25th

May 30th (our Anniversary!)

June 27th

July 25th

August 29th

September 26th

October 31st

November 28th

December 26th

See ye at the helm, my future captains!

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards X: HC SVNT DRACONES

Here be dragons, me hearties. Your admiral got COTEB X up at last. Our dragonslayers be outstanding. Enjoy!

Our Mission Be Delayed

February be a short month, and Admiral Dana be dealin' with shipwrecks. We'll spend an extra week in port - shore leave for the lot o' ye! Just have yerselves on board by Thursday the 5th o' March - we be sailin' next Friday! Those o' ye who've already boarded get extra rations o' rum this voyage.

The Ship Sails Yet - Get Aboard, Ye Elitist Bastards!

Captain Chaos ran afoul o' the dreaded Ship o' Life, and is limping to port to make repairs. But we'll be launching wi' yer Admiral at the helm. The HMS Elitist Bastard will be sailing from her home port, En Tequila Es Verdad, on the 28th o' February. I wants a full crew, so get yer elitist bastardry aboard by Friday the 27th.

For any o' ye who've never sailed, but think ye might be Elitist Bastard enough to sign on, now's yer chance! Let's review the requirements:

1. Write a blog post that blasts ignorance or celebrates some aspect o' wisdom, or if ye be really ambitious, does both.

2. Post yer post.

3. Send us the link no later than the deadline, or ye be dead in the water.

Simplicity itself, innit? Which means no o' ye should be left sittin' on the docks when we sail. Admiral Dana be hatching a special plot, and none o' ye'll want to miss it.

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards IX: Keepin' yer wits about ye

Aye, the HMS Elitist Bastard's sailed from the Port o' Ecstathy. Captain Efrique has steered the ship a course for treasure, he has. There be wisdom an' wealth an' a wee bit o' a brain teaser for ye! Get o'er there and get yer booty afore it be gone!