Carnival of the Elitist Bastards

Monday, May 25, 2009

Our Captain's Down, but We Sail Yet!

Most o' ye know our Captain George had a wee mishap. He be on the mend, but the doctors have yet to pronounce him fit for duty. That means yer Admiral's taking the helm this voyage. We'll have to be quick about it - I be headin' to Arizona this weekend, and that be no place to sail a ship from!

Get yer Elitist Bastard links to me at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com by end o' day Friday. I know it be short notice, but I also know ye've got plenty o' elitist bastardry already posted this month, so ye've nothing to worry about.

See ye on board, me hearties!

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XII: In Hot Pursuit of the Faux Nouvelle

Dear, oh dear. I see I forgot to cross-post last month's launch announcement. Time to remedy that:

Captain Cujo's launched us on a rousing adventure on the high seas for COTEB XII, me hearties. It be one o' the most exciting sailings we've had yet. Pour yerselves some grog and raise yer glasses in a rousing HUZZAH!

And an equally rousing mea culpa from yer Admiral, Cujo. Ye get extra rum rations next sailing!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Last Day in Port

Out o' the taverns and onto the ship wi' ye! Submit yer posts for the Carnival of the Elitist Bastards by the end o' tonight, or we be sailin' without ye. And none o' us want that, now, do we?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Get Yer Treasure in the Chest

We be setting sail from Slobber and Spittle next weekend - submissions are due no later than the end of day Friday, and ye know ye don't want to be left behind. I've seen only one o' ye step aboard - surely there's more elitist bastards out there. Send Captain Cujo yer links!

I've noticed a dramatic decline in new recruits of late. This won't do. Allow me to repeat meself: For any o' ye who've never sailed, but think ye might be Elitist Bastard enough to sign on, now's yer chance! Let's review the requirements:

1. Write a blog post that blasts ignorance or celebrates some aspect o' wisdom, or if ye be really ambitious, does both.

2. Post yer post.

3. Send us the link no later than the deadline, or ye be dead in the water.

Simplicity itself, innit? Which means no o' ye should be left sittin' on the docks when we sail.

Monday, April 13, 2009

That Howl Be Yer Captain Callin' For Ye

It be that time again, time for all good Elitist Bastards to write their posts and send in their links. Captain Cujo be wantin' yer submissions as soon as ye can get them to 'im. Get 'em in to elitistbastardscarnival at gmail dot com. We be sailing on the weekend o' the 25th - don't ye be left on the docks!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XI: "We Prefer the Term 'Awesome.'"

The eleventh sailing of the HMS Elitist Bastard's up at Z's place. We be organized elitist bastards this time round: we left port on time and in good order. Huzzah! Settle yerselves in yer hammocks and enjoy a long, leisurely sail with some of the smartest bastards on the intertoobz.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

All Aboard!

'Tis that time. If ye haven't jumped aboard with yer submission clenched in yer teeth, ye'd better get leaping. I want to see all o' ye on the ship by the end o' day Friday. Captain Z be expectin' ye! Email yer submissions and prepare to make mayhem!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Captains and Submissions Call

The HMS Elitist Bastard won't be wanting for leadership over the next few months. We've some mighty fine Captains taking the helm.

March 28-29 - Z at It's the Thought That Counts

April 25-26 - Cujo359 at Slobber and Spittle

May 30-31 - George at Decrepit Old Fool

June 27-28 - John Pieret at Thoughts in a Haystack

July 25-26 - NP at The Coffee-Stained Writer

August 29-30 - Open

September 26-27 - Open

October 31-Nov. 1 - Open

November 28-29 - Open

December 26-27 - Open

Commands are going fast. Ye'd best get yours while there's still a chance!

If ye're worried ye can't steer a ship as elitist as the HMS Elitist Bastard, ye can put those fears to rest. 'Tis simplicity itself for true Elitist Bastards:

1. Ye must know how to create a hyperlink.

2. Ye bring posts full o' various Elitist Bastardry together in fun and creative ways.

3. Then ye sit back and enjoy the warm glow o' a job well done - or the warmer glow o' rum, whichever's the warmer for ye.

Ye don't even have to muster up a crew - yer Admiral does that for ye. There's still room for five o' ye, so volunteer yerself.

It also be time to get yer submissions in for March's sailing. I know ye've got something suitable, so send me those links no later than Friday, March 27th. Captain Z be expecting ye!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Who Be Helmin' the Ship?

Aye, so it does. We've only three weeks afore the next sailin', and we've no captains. The HMS Elitist Bastard needs enterprisin' elitists to helm her. Should ye be interested, email Admiral Dana at mailto:%20elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com with yer name, yer blog, and the month ye want to take the wheel. Make sure ye include a second choice just in case ye missed the boat. Dates we leave port are below: