To Yer Posts, Sailors!

It be that time again!  Time for ye to pick yer best elitist bastardry and get aboard!  We be sailin' Christmas weekend, if time an' tides be on our sides.  Get yer links in to me no later than end o' day December 26th.  We be sailin' out from Last Hussar's Barracks, and ye don't want to be late when ye're dealin' wi' a captain named Last Hussar, now, do ye?

If ye've never sailed before, here's how it be done:

1. Pick a blog post o' yours that hits the stupid where it hurts.

2. Send us the link at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com.

That be it.  Simple enough, innit?

And if ye see a bit o' elitist bastardry while ye be out and about on the intertoobz, be sure to send us the link.  A crew's just not complete without a few press-ganged folk.

See ye aboard!

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XIX: Here Be Monsters

The ship has sailed, me hearties! Captain Stephanie has delivered an epic tale in which buckles be swashed an' monsters be slain. Raise yer tankard in one hand, yer cutlass in t' other, and charge!

Captain on Deck - Muster Up, Me Hearties!

Aye, our communication failures be fixed, and Captain Stephanie be ready to take the helm. But she be in need o' a crew. So rouse yerselves from yer turkey comas, muster yer best elitist bastardry, and get on deck by end o' day Friday.

If ye've never sailed before, here's how ye join the crew:

1. Pick a blog post o' yours that hits the stupid where it hurts.

2. Send us the link at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com.

That be it. What could be more easy? Ye can write about anything ye like - we take all manner o' intelligent and interesting discourse.

See ye aboard!

Our Captain Be Missing in Action

As ye know, our Captain Stephanie just went through surgery.  I haven't heard if she be up for helmin' the ship, so we be awaiting word.  Raise a tankard to her health, me hearties!

We'll stay in port an extra week, and if Captain Stephanie be ready t' take the helm then, it be hers.  If not, yer admiral will step up t' the wheel.  We be castin' off on the weekend o' December 5th.  Get yer submissions in to elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com no later than Friday the 4th.

Ye've got extra time, so I expect yer very best elitist bastardry!

Sailing into November with a kick-ass crew

Did ye think we'd never get away from the dock? Hah! The Elitist Bastard is cutting water and breaking ice. And woe betide any con ships that cross her path this month! Get the top-secret skinny on her mission at Decrepit Old Fool: Carnival Of The Elitist Bastards, the "it's for research" edition.

It's readily apparent I'm no sea-dog, but luckily the crew is fully seasoned!

Ye Have Until Midnight, Mateys

Captain George be keepin' the gangplank down 'till Midnight tonight.  Ye still have time to get aboard wi' yer treasures!  And there be plenty o' berths left, so finish yer drink, grab yer loot, and board ship!  Send yer best elitist bastardry to elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com or ye'll be wishin' ye had!

Finish Yer Drink and Load the Ship!

It be that time again, me hearties.  Captain George be lookin' fer yer bounty.  Grab yer best elitist bastardry and get yerselves aboard.  We leave port on Halloween - ye don't want to be left behind!

For those o' ye who haven't sailed afore, it be this easy:

1. Pick a blog post o' yours that hits the stupid where it hurts.

2. Send us the link at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com.

That be it.

And if ye should stumble across any prime Elitist Bastardry that tisn't yers but ye'd still like to see aboard, send me a link to that, too. We're pirates, after all - and what good are pirates who can't find a little plunder?

See ye aboard!

Capitanos

Aye, our officer corps be fillin' quickly.  Here be yer captains for t' next several months:

October - George W at Decrepit Old Fool

November - Stephanie at Almost Diamonds

December - Last Hussar at Last Hussar's Barracks 

January - Cujo at Slobber and Spittle

February - Chris at Lud in the Mist

There still be room for captains, if ye've got the hankering.  Email me at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com if ye decide ye want yer chance at the helm!

Even if ye don't plan to command the ship just yet, ye're wanted on the crew.  Ye can send us yer submissions any time.  Remember - we sail in in two short weeks!

Have Ye Got a Little Captain In Ye?

Ye know ye have.  And ye know ye want t' take the helm o' the HMS Elitist Bastard.  We've plenty o' commands open, so pick yer month (and an alternate in case another captain gets there first) and email me yer choices at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com.

Here's what we've available:

October 31st - November 1st

December 26th - 27th

January 30th - 31st

February 27th - 28th

March 27th - 28th

Helmin' the ship be simple.  I send ye the links, ye post the links on yer blog, and perhaps spin us a wee tale to boot.  Have ye got it in ye?

O' course ye do!  So sign on, take the helm, and show the world what Elitist Bastard Captains be made of!

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XVII: Off to the Academic Archipelago

We be off to the Academic Archipelago, sailing from home port at the cantina - but not before a nice sing-song!  Enjoy the voyage, me hearties.