Carnival of the Elitist Bastards: August 2008

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Ye Haven't Got Long, Ye Elitist Bastards!

Captain Blake Stacey be expectin' ye - and ye don't want to disappoint Captain Stacey.

Nay, indeed! The only thing bigger than himself is his brain, and he be looking for Elitist Bastard submissions to feed that monstrous intellect o' his.

He'll be taking the HMS Elitist Bastard to sea on August 30th. You'd best be on deck and reporting for duty by August 29th, then, me brilliant bastards. Send those submissions, or ye'll be wishing ye did!

What It's About

You can help raise the level of our public discourse from the subgutter of stupidity in which it currently resides. All you have to do is celebrate your own intelligence.

You don’t have to be erudite or loquacious. You don’t have to be particularly learned or expert. Just say what you think. What do you think about the dumbing down of the media? Education? Politics? Why do you suppose our cultures celebrate jocks, but not genius?

Write about what delights you. Do you read science tomes for pleasure? Avoid Survivor in favor of Nova? What do you do that causes the folks around you to roll their eyes and say, “You know too much!”

Are you a wine snob? Cigar afficianado? Horticulturalist? Gourmand? All of us have at least one interest that might be considered elite. Talk about it. Educate the rest of us Elitist Bastards. Let us learn something new.

Saving the world is a noble goal. Savoring it may be just as important. As Elitist Bastards, I think we can manage both.

Elitist Bastards Unite!

The Carnival of the Elitist Bastards began with a battle cry:

"It's time we stop letting our culture celebrate willful ignorance and start promoting genius instead.

"We'll celebrate our cerebrums, jerk the sledgehammer out of the hands wielding it against us, and kick anti-elitists to the curb. We'll delve into the delightful varieties of elitist and elite pleasures. We'll wax philosophical and hold up the elite of our societies for praise."

Adlai Stevenson, an Elitist Bastard if there ever was one, once said in response to a man who called him an egghead, "Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks!"

What we'll end up with if we don't unite is bland scrambled eggs. And no, there won't be Tabasco Sauce. Not even a drop.

Let's put intellect back in the public discourse, then, shall we?

"The 21st Century"

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer hear,
because they have surrendered
their ears.
And instead they survive
every second by shooting
a drug called apathy
directly into their veins.

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer see,
because they have gouged
their eyes.
And instead they cope
worm like by following
the noise of culture
blaring from every corner.

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer taste,
because they have severed
their tongues.
And instead they seek
sensations by observing
the suffering and
disasters of others.

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer feel,
because they have flayed
their skin.
And instead they crave
nourishment by rooting
in putrid refuse
heaped in the gutter.

In the 21st Century.
people can no longer care,
because they have siphoned
their brains.
And instead they grope
hopelessly for understanding
by desperate fondling
of the drug called apathy.

Brian A. Fowler"

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards IV

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Ye Haven't Got Long, Ye Elitist Bastards!

Got Submissions? Send 'em!

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