Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XIV: ARRRGGGG!

COTEB XIV be up at Captain John's place, and now I be understandin' why so many o' ye missed the boat. 'Tis better if ye drink yer grog in pints, not barrels, me hearties.

Still an' all, we ended up with a robust (if groaning) crew, and Captain John's birthday sailing proved a rousing success.

Special thanks this voyage to George at Decrepit Old Fool, Steve at Science-Based Medicine, Barbara at ICBS Everywhere, Z from It's the Thought that Counts, Heather from Steingruebl World Enterprises, and Cujo359 from Slobber and Spittle. Ye did yer ship proud, sailors!

I hope those o' ye we press-ganged be flattered. Ye wouldn't have wanted to miss the party, now, would ye?

Let's have a rousing cheer for Captain John, who helmed the ship on his birthday, and ensured smooth sailing - always important for those wi' a bit o' a hangover!

HUZZAH!

I Am A Disappointed Admiral - and Somewhere, a Pirate Lawyer is Crying

Look what you've done to poor Captain John:


Yes, you. You know how many Elitist Bastards answered this months' call?

4.

People. Not only is there an infinity of stupidity needing bashing out there, you've all let John down on his birthday.

I'm so disappointed I can't even talk pirate right now. And Captain John - well, here's a reconstruction of his current state:


This situation must be rectified. If you merely forgot to submit, get your submission in to elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com immediately. If you didn't think you had anything worth submitting, find something anyway - you're Elitist Bastards, your every word drips with immeasurable intellect. If you're new and have no idea what's going on, here are the requirements:

1. Pick one (or more) of your blog posts that blasts ignorance or celebrates some aspect of wisdom, or if you're really ambitious, does both.

2. Send us the link.

Is that hard? Not at all. Do you have any excuse not to submit a post? None.

I want the COTEB inbox full to the bursting. You have until Sunday morning to wriggle back into John's and my good graces. Otherwise, you will have to live with the fact that you've made John sad on his birthday.

Yer Captain's Got a Motivational Speech for Ye

I'll take it as a personal affront if there is not a plethora of material. You don't want a lawyer with delusions of being a pirate to be pissed at you.

Besides, it's my birthday and, if it isn't a good Carnival, I might cry. If there's anything that you don't want to see more than a pissed lawyer with delusions of being a pirate, its a lawyer with delusions of being a pirate crying.

He be right about that, me hearties. I think ye'd better get yer Elitist Bastardly links in to elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com as soon as possible. If ye're any later than Friday night, a fate worse than drowning in an ocean o' stupidity may befall us.

We Be Deploying Soon!

Captain John Pieret be looking for a few good Elitist Bastards for this month's voyage of the HMS Elitist Bastard. I know it be short notice, but I also know that most o' ye haven't been on vacation, so ye've got plenty o' Elitist Bastardry lying about yer blogs. Get those links in to mailto:%20elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com by end o' day this Friday, the 26th o' June. Let's ensure Captain John sails wi' a full ship.