Carnival of the Elitist Bastards: October 2009

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Ye Have Until Midnight, Mateys

Captain George be keepin' the gangplank down 'till Midnight tonight. Ye still have time to get aboard wi' yer treasures! And there be plenty o' berths left, so finish yer drink, grab yer loot, and board ship! Send yer best elitist bastardry to elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com or ye'll be wishin' ye had!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Finish Yer Drink and Load the Ship!

It be that time again, me hearties. Captain George be lookin' fer yer bounty. Grab yer best elitist bastardry and get yerselves aboard. We leave port on Halloween - ye don't want to be left behind!

For those o' ye who haven't sailed afore, it be this easy:

1. Pick a blog post o' yours that hits the stupid where it hurts.

2. Send us the link at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com.

That be it.

And if ye should stumble across any prime Elitist Bastardry that tisn't yers but ye'd still like to see aboard, send me a link to that, too. We're pirates, after all - and what good are pirates who can't find a little plunder?

See ye aboard!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Capitanos

Aye, our officer corps be fillin' quickly. Here be yer captains for t' next several months:

October - George W at Decrepit Old Fool
November - Stephanie at Almost Diamonds
December - Last Hussar at Last Hussar's Barracks
January - Cujo at Slobber and Spittle
February - Chris at Lud in the Mist

There still be room for captains, if ye've got the hankering. Email me at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com if ye decide ye want yer chance at the helm!

Even if ye don't plan to command the ship just yet, ye're wanted on the crew. Ye can send us yer submissions any time. Remember - we sail in in two short weeks!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Have Ye Got a Little Captain In Ye?

Ye know ye have. And ye know ye want t' take the helm o' the HMS Elitist Bastard. We've plenty o' commands open, so pick yer month (and an alternate in case another captain gets there first) and email me yer choices at elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com.

Here's what we've available:

October 31st - November 1st

December 26th - 27th

January 30th - 31st

February 27th - 28th

March 27th - 28th

Helmin' the ship be simple. I send ye the links, ye post the links on yer blog, and perhaps spin us a wee tale to boot. Have ye got it in ye?

O' course ye do! So sign on, take the helm, and show the world what Elitist Bastard Captains be made of!

What It's About

You can help raise the level of our public discourse from the subgutter of stupidity in which it currently resides. All you have to do is celebrate your own intelligence.

You don’t have to be erudite or loquacious. You don’t have to be particularly learned or expert. Just say what you think. What do you think about the dumbing down of the media? Education? Politics? Why do you suppose our cultures celebrate jocks, but not genius?

Write about what delights you. Do you read science tomes for pleasure? Avoid Survivor in favor of Nova? What do you do that causes the folks around you to roll their eyes and say, “You know too much!”

Are you a wine snob? Cigar afficianado? Horticulturalist? Gourmand? All of us have at least one interest that might be considered elite. Talk about it. Educate the rest of us Elitist Bastards. Let us learn something new.

Saving the world is a noble goal. Savoring it may be just as important. As Elitist Bastards, I think we can manage both.

Elitist Bastards Unite!

The Carnival of the Elitist Bastards began with a battle cry:

"It's time we stop letting our culture celebrate willful ignorance and start promoting genius instead.

"We'll celebrate our cerebrums, jerk the sledgehammer out of the hands wielding it against us, and kick anti-elitists to the curb. We'll delve into the delightful varieties of elitist and elite pleasures. We'll wax philosophical and hold up the elite of our societies for praise."

Adlai Stevenson, an Elitist Bastard if there ever was one, once said in response to a man who called him an egghead, "Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks!"

What we'll end up with if we don't unite is bland scrambled eggs. And no, there won't be Tabasco Sauce. Not even a drop.

Let's put intellect back in the public discourse, then, shall we?

"The 21st Century"

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer hear,
because they have surrendered
their ears.
And instead they survive
every second by shooting
a drug called apathy
directly into their veins.

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer see,
because they have gouged
their eyes.
And instead they cope
worm like by following
the noise of culture
blaring from every corner.

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer taste,
because they have severed
their tongues.
And instead they seek
sensations by observing
the suffering and
disasters of others.

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer feel,
because they have flayed
their skin.
And instead they crave
nourishment by rooting
in putrid refuse
heaped in the gutter.

In the 21st Century.
people can no longer care,
because they have siphoned
their brains.
And instead they grope
hopelessly for understanding
by desperate fondling
of the drug called apathy.

Brian A. Fowler"

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Ye Have Until Midnight, Mateys

Friday, October 23, 2009

Finish Yer Drink and Load the Ship!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Capitanos

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Have Ye Got a Little Captain In Ye?

Got Submissions? Send 'em!

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