Carnival of the Elitist Bastards: November 2009

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Our Captain Be Missing in Action

As ye know, our Captain Stephanie just went through surgery. I haven't heard if she be up for helmin' the ship, so we be awaiting word. Raise a tankard to her health, me hearties!

We'll stay in port an extra week, and if Captain Stephanie be ready t' take the helm then, it be hers. If not, yer admiral will step up t' the wheel. We be castin' off on the weekend o' December 5th. Get yer submissions in to elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com no later than Friday the 4th.

Ye've got extra time, so I expect yer very best elitist bastardry!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Sailing into November with a kick-ass crew

Did ye think we'd never get away from the dock? Hah! The Elitist Bastard is cutting water and breaking ice. And woe betide any con ships that cross her path this month! Get the top-secret skinny on her mission at Decrepit Old Fool: Carnival Of The Elitist Bastards, the "it's for research" edition.

It's readily apparent I'm no sea-dog, but luckily the crew is fully seasoned!

What It's About

You can help raise the level of our public discourse from the subgutter of stupidity in which it currently resides. All you have to do is celebrate your own intelligence.

You don’t have to be erudite or loquacious. You don’t have to be particularly learned or expert. Just say what you think. What do you think about the dumbing down of the media? Education? Politics? Why do you suppose our cultures celebrate jocks, but not genius?

Write about what delights you. Do you read science tomes for pleasure? Avoid Survivor in favor of Nova? What do you do that causes the folks around you to roll their eyes and say, “You know too much!”

Are you a wine snob? Cigar afficianado? Horticulturalist? Gourmand? All of us have at least one interest that might be considered elite. Talk about it. Educate the rest of us Elitist Bastards. Let us learn something new.

Saving the world is a noble goal. Savoring it may be just as important. As Elitist Bastards, I think we can manage both.

Elitist Bastards Unite!

The Carnival of the Elitist Bastards began with a battle cry:

"It's time we stop letting our culture celebrate willful ignorance and start promoting genius instead.

"We'll celebrate our cerebrums, jerk the sledgehammer out of the hands wielding it against us, and kick anti-elitists to the curb. We'll delve into the delightful varieties of elitist and elite pleasures. We'll wax philosophical and hold up the elite of our societies for praise."

Adlai Stevenson, an Elitist Bastard if there ever was one, once said in response to a man who called him an egghead, "Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks!"

What we'll end up with if we don't unite is bland scrambled eggs. And no, there won't be Tabasco Sauce. Not even a drop.

Let's put intellect back in the public discourse, then, shall we?

"The 21st Century"

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer hear,
because they have surrendered
their ears.
And instead they survive
every second by shooting
a drug called apathy
directly into their veins.

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer see,
because they have gouged
their eyes.
And instead they cope
worm like by following
the noise of culture
blaring from every corner.

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer taste,
because they have severed
their tongues.
And instead they seek
sensations by observing
the suffering and
disasters of others.

In the 21st Century.
People can no longer feel,
because they have flayed
their skin.
And instead they crave
nourishment by rooting
in putrid refuse
heaped in the gutter.

In the 21st Century.
people can no longer care,
because they have siphoned
their brains.
And instead they grope
hopelessly for understanding
by desperate fondling
of the drug called apathy.

Brian A. Fowler"

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Our Captain Be Missing in Action

Monday, November 2, 2009

Sailing into November with a kick-ass crew

Got Submissions? Send 'em!

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