Captains and Submissions Call

The HMS Elitist Bastard won't be wanting for leadership over the next few months. We've some mighty fine Captains taking the helm.

March 28-29 - Z at It's the Thought That Counts

April 25-26 - Cujo359 at Slobber and Spittle

May 30-31 - George at Decrepit Old Fool

June 27-28 - John Pieret at Thoughts in a Haystack

July 25-26 - NP at The Coffee-Stained Writer

August 29-30 - Open

September 26-27 - Open

October 31-Nov. 1 - Open

November 28-29 - Open

December 26-27 - Open

Commands are going fast. Ye'd best get yours while there's still a chance!

If ye're worried ye can't steer a ship as elitist as the HMS Elitist Bastard, ye can put those fears to rest. 'Tis simplicity itself for true Elitist Bastards:

1. Ye must know how to create a hyperlink.

2. Ye bring posts full o' various Elitist Bastardry together in fun and creative ways.

3. Then ye sit back and enjoy the warm glow o' a job well done - or the warmer glow o' rum, whichever's the warmer for ye.

Ye don't even have to muster up a crew - yer Admiral does that for ye. There's still room for five o' ye, so volunteer yerself.

It also be time to get yer submissions in for March's sailing. I know ye've got something suitable, so send me those links no later than Friday, March 27th. Captain Z be expecting ye!

Who Be Helmin' the Ship?

Aye, so it does. We've only three weeks afore the next sailin', and we've no captains. The HMS Elitist Bastard needs enterprisin' elitists to helm her. Should ye be interested, email Admiral Dana at mailto:%20elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com with yer name, yer blog, and the month ye want to take the wheel. Make sure ye include a second choice just in case ye missed the boat. Dates we leave port are below:

March 28th

April 25th

May 30th (our Anniversary!)

June 27th

July 25th

August 29th

September 26th

October 31st

November 28th

December 26th

See ye at the helm, my future captains!

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards X: HC SVNT DRACONES

Here be dragons, me hearties. Your admiral got COTEB X up at last. Our dragonslayers be outstanding. Enjoy!

Our Mission Be Delayed

February be a short month, and Admiral Dana be dealin' with shipwrecks. We'll spend an extra week in port - shore leave for the lot o' ye! Just have yerselves on board by Thursday the 5th o' March - we be sailin' next Friday! Those o' ye who've already boarded get extra rations o' rum this voyage.

The Ship Sails Yet - Get Aboard, Ye Elitist Bastards!

Captain Chaos ran afoul o' the dreaded Ship o' Life, and is limping to port to make repairs. But we'll be launching wi' yer Admiral at the helm. The HMS Elitist Bastard will be sailing from her home port, En Tequila Es Verdad, on the 28th o' February. I wants a full crew, so get yer elitist bastardry aboard by Friday the 27th.

For any o' ye who've never sailed, but think ye might be Elitist Bastard enough to sign on, now's yer chance! Let's review the requirements:

1. Write a blog post that blasts ignorance or celebrates some aspect o' wisdom, or if ye be really ambitious, does both.

2. Post yer post.

3. Send us the link no later than the deadline, or ye be dead in the water.

Simplicity itself, innit? Which means no o' ye should be left sittin' on the docks when we sail. Admiral Dana be hatching a special plot, and none o' ye'll want to miss it.

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards IX: Keepin' yer wits about ye

Aye, the HMS Elitist Bastard's sailed from the Port o' Ecstathy. Captain Efrique has steered the ship a course for treasure, he has. There be wisdom an' wealth an' a wee bit o' a brain teaser for ye! Get o'er there and get yer booty afore it be gone!

Aye, Yer Captain Be Callin' Ye

Captain Efrique shall be taking the HMS Elitist Bastard into the maw of ignorance once more come January 31st, and he'll be needin' ye aboard. Ye've been wanting to shove some wisdom down ignorance's throat, me hearties, haven't ye? Get yer submissions in no later than January 30th.

Time to man the ship, prime the guns, and win another battle for Elitist Bastardry!

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards VIII: To Boldly Go

The HMS Elitist Bastard leaves the high seas for deep space over at Submitted to a Candid World. Captain Ames helms the ship as we explore strange new worlds, seek out ignorance, and then blast it into oblivion with phasers set to "vaporize." The only question remaining unanswered: how good is Ames at the Picard Maneuver?

Set a course for wisdom. Warp factor 9. Engage.

12 Days o' Piratemas

Aye, that be Captain Ames summoning ye, and ye've got only twelve days before we sail! Get your elitist bastardry aboard by December 26th. I expect to see mailto:%20elitistbastardscarnival@gmail.com filled to the bursting wi' submissions - I know ye've got it in ye.

Ye wouldn't want to miss this sailing, my swarthy crew. It be Piratemas!

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards VII: Storming the High Seas

Stormy weather delayed the launch, but the HMS Elitist Bastard has sailed from port at Cafe Philos. Captain Paul returns us to the core of our mission, and has the line that encapsulates it all:

Nothing spells elitist like changing the world for the better.

Precisely.

Go. Read. Get inspired, and change the world.